Savage Love
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Savage Love: Should I Introduce My Husband to My Daddy Dom?
From the end of Roe to the assault on democracy to the climate crisis to the war on Ukraine, it’s all bad news, all the time, for everyone. But the monkeypox outbreak is an extra little helping of bad news specifically for gay and bi men. (More than 96% of…
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Savage Love: Dick-Loving Woman Searches for Appropriate Label
I’m a cis woman in her 30s who lives on the East Coast. I’ve been in an LTR with the same cis man for 12 years. No issues there at all! But we are considering opening up our relationship and I have a question about my sexuality. Basically, I’m attracted…
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Savage Love Quickies: Monkeypox, Edibles and Jacking Off Upside Down
Gay dude here. What the fuck is up with monkeypox? Do I need to be worried? Yes, you do. I tried to raise the alarm about monkeypox on the May 24, 2022, episode of the Savage Lovecast, back when there were 100 cases in 15 countries, all of them among…
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Savage Love: Oxytocin, Dopamine and Bonding After Sex
My partner and I are a heterosexual couple with a large age gap. He is the older one, and our sex life is amazing. We’ve been talking about the idea of having me fuck a new guy for about four years. However, because he is older and experienced more casual…
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Savage Love: Let’s Call Out ‘Just My Preference’ Gays for Racial Profiling
I’m taking a week off, so this week’s “Savage Love” is a reprint of a column that was originally published on January 13, 2016. I hope everyone has a happy and safe Pride. Please be careful out there. — Dan As a queer man of color — I’m Asian —…
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Savage Love: Bad Dom Challenges Limits of Inexperienced Sub
I’m a 29-year-old bisexual woman in a non-monogamous relationship. A few years ago, I wanted to explore my submissive side and met up a with a Dom I connected with on a kink site. We had a few drinks and hit it off. We discussed what we were comfortable with…
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Savage Love: Bad Relationships Lead to Fears of Flawed Judgement
I’m trying to date again after back-to-back negative relationship experiences. Experiences that have made me question my own judgment and ability to set good boundaries. My friends and therapist all pointed out the red flags, but I was apparently blind to them. I love what you’ve said about how there…
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Savage Love: Boyfriend’s Riches Have Partner Feeling Like a Kept Boy
I’m a 31-year-old queer person living in Europe. I recently met a 46-year-old man. We were visiting the same city for work and met on an app and went on a series of amazing dates. We have a lot of similar interests and work in parallel fields. Now we’re…
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Savage Love Quickies: Balls, Personal Hygiene and Low Libido
My laptop died last week. My laptop couldn’t die when I was in the office, with capable tech support people close by. Oh, no. My laptop lost its will to live when I was thousands of miles away, in a country where I don’t speak the language. So, I wasn’t…
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Savage Love: Freysexual Fiancé Would Rather Sext With Strangers
I am a 37-year-old heterosexual woman in a monogamous relationship with a het cis male. Let’s call him “Rick.” We’ve been together for five years and engaged for two. Our sex went from passionate, fun, and frequent early in the relationship to nearly nonexistent now. I have gently initiated conversations…
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Savage Love: Abortion Rights, Swinger Apps and Bejeweled Butt Plugs
I’m a straight guy, married to a straight woman for 15 years. Several years back, I opened up to my wife about my fantasies of her sleeping with other men. I was nervous about bringing it up. Her views on sex had always been traditional, and she had always expressed…
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Savage Love: One-Sided Open Relationship Leaves Husband Lonely
Straight guy here in a one-sided open relationship. My wife and I opened our relationship just for her and to females only so she could explore her bisexual side. I’m super proud of her for coming out and wanted her to feel fulfilled. When we agreed to this, I was…
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Savage Love Quickies: Topping, Dick Cages and Whipped Cream
I’m a heavy sleeper, and my wife knows that, but not so heavy that I don’t wake up when she periodically masturbates next to me and has the bed shaking pretty hard. She doesn’t know this wakes me. How do I handle this? Do I offer a hand (or a…
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Savage Love: Gays Worry Hours-Long Bondage Might Be Dangerous
I’m a married gay man. I’m nervous about sending this question and my husband is afraid you might answer it. I’m a fairly vanilla guy, while my husband is into bondage. We’ve been able to make it work because he’s into a kind of bondage he calls “storage.” On “storage…
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Savage Love: Gonorrhea Outbreak Leaves Bad Taste in Swinger’s Mouth
Bisexual female in an open/monogamish relationship with a heterosexual male. My partner and I have some friends in the swinging lifestyle that invite us to parties and group sex events. They recently picked up gonorrhea at a hotel takeover and did not find out until after hosting 20 people at…
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Savage Love: Vulva Pain and a Ghost Story
I am a 29-year-old woman and I have a problem when I have sex or masturbate. I always feel an annoying pain, a stinging sensation in my vulva, at the entrance of the vagina, that does not allow me to enjoy it, as the pain is too overwhelming. Unfortunately, this…
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