He’s Too Young For You, Bro

Lately, one of my girlfriends has been itching to break away from her normal routine and try something new. But me? I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’m not excited about making new friends; I’m in a relationship and unfamiliar crowds tend to give me anxiety.

That being said, being the Debbie Downer of the group can get a bit old, so I recently decided to stretch my legs and venture out with the girls to Graham Street Pub & Patio, a new-ish hangout that opened last year across its namesake street from BB&T Ballpark in Third Ward.

I’m not going to lie, while Graham Street Pub is just a hop, skip and a jump away from one of my favorite watering holes, I hadn’t yet paid it a visit. *holds out hands* Bad nightlife writer.

The truth is, when I hear another bar, grill and patio has opened, I’m not convinced that the concept will bring any texture to the Charlotte nightlife scene. A year later, and I think it’s safe to say Graham Street Pub isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

So on a recent Panthers Sunday, my friend finally convinced me to give it a try.

As soon as we walked in the door, my girlfriend was welcomed with open arms. Well, that’s an exaggeration, as we only thought she was being greeted with open arms by a very tall young man who stood as we entered. Nope, he was greeting a girl entering behind us. Tragic.

We turned to each other and died laughing at the awkward interaction. If that snafu was any indication of whether or not the venue would be a promising venture for my girlfriend, conditions were bleak.

We found a few bar stools looking out of the window facing Graham Street right next to the DJ booth. I must say, I think we had the best seats in the house. Not to mention, we could keep an eye on potential eye candy for our single friend.

We surveyed the crowd from a safe distance and “pretended” to invest in all the football games on the televisions surrounding us.

After a couple beers, my enthusiasm for sports started to wane and we decided to check out the rest of the bar. We exited, passing the downstairs patio area before climbing the stairs to the rooftop patio. In passing, the rooftop is one of the first features that caught my eye.

I glanced at the skyline mural behind the bar I’d seen in pictures and took in the views of the city. But male real estate was limited on this particular Panthers game day so we decided to return to our corner downstairs.

At this point, I was convinced the excitement of getting our girl out of the same ol’, same ol’ wouldn’t prove fruitful on this visit to Graham Street. We were at least enjoying one another’s company in a different environment and that was quite satisfying for this homebody.

In an interesting turn of events, the aforementioned fellow started getting comfortable with gameday banter in our vicinity and I thought for sure, “This is it! He’s going to make a move.” One of the girls asked him to take a picture of us (after all, we had to capture this rare occurrence). And that’s when hope was truly lost.

We handed him a disposable camera, put huge smiles on and got in position. As he raised the camera to snap the picture, he says, “Wait, how do I use this?”

We died laughing and I turned to my friend and said, “Dude, he’s too young for you, bro!”

We’ve all seen the videos poking fun at kids who, for example, don’t know how to use a rotary phone. Or the memes that emphatically express, “If she never had Myspace, she’s too young for you bro!” But very few times have I witnessed it in real life.

It’s official, the dating pool is getting younger, ladies and gents. (Because we’re not getting older, right?)

After taking that hilarious break from our regularly scheduled program, it’s a bit fuzzy on whether or not he figured out how to use the camera on his own or if a seasoned saint had to take over. Regardless, the photo was taken and I was given a fair share of entertainment in return.

I doubt this first visit was a good reflection of the typical bargoers, after all, the bar and restaurant is right next door to Circa Uptown Apartments, but I want to take the time to thank you to Graham Street Pub & Patio and that young sir for filling my lungs with a good laugh that day.