Exploring Nonalcoholic Options Around Town in Dry-ish January

The moment Jeremy Radio slid the nonalcoholic version of the Astro Zombie (just $10 with the booze) across the bar in a very on-brand enamel shark-head mug, I knew Uncle Jerry’s Tiki Sundays at Tommy’s Pub was the ideal kickoff for our dry-ish Sunday Funday. The first sip only confirmed that kismet.

The refreshing flavors of grapefruit and lime hit my lips first, but it was the tingly combo of cinnamon syrup and seltzer bubbles that delivered a warm, fuzzy mouth feel that convinced me Uncle J must’ve forgotten to exclude the dark rum and pernod. It was the first time I could imagine day drinking without actually drinking.

“I think I actually prefer yours,” Boo admitted, taking a second sip of his traditional Dark and Stormy ($8). I didn’t believe him at first, but before I knew it, he was reaching for another sip of Baby Shark. Hmmm, maybe we are capable of dry-ish January after all.

Every December, I flirt with the idea of jumping on the Dry January bandwagon. But before the figurative resolution pen even touches mental paper — or dares escape my lips for anyone to hold me to it — New Year’s Eve rolls around.

The thought of facing Charlotte’s nightlife — or any social situation, really — sober, while still in the malaise of New Year’s Day’s poor decisions, convinces me I’m mentally unprepared to follow Gen Z down the mindful-drinking path.

That’s right, millennials: Surviving Y2K, two economic crises, and drowning our unpacked childhood trauma has paved the way for Gen Z to set healthy boundaries with alcohol.

But in all seriousness, research has shown that, for reasons that are tough to pinpoint, Gen Z seems less inclined to follow J-Kwon’s OG mantra: “Everybody in the club gettin’ tipsy.”

And that simple first sip at Tommy’s piqued my sober curiosity a week into the new year, as the warmth of the tiki mocktail lingered in my mouth and we headed over to NoDa on the hunt for nonalcoholic options that could keep the party going.

You might know Haberdish for their fried chicken, but it was their surprisingly delicious punch bowls that made a lasting impression on my once-naive taste buds, back in 2016 when I was still hooked on vodka Red Bulls.

So it only made sense to stop in and try their spirit-free and legally “green” cocktails (because who says you can’t be “high” on life and still stay sober-ish?).

Snoop Nogg ($15) featuring the hemp-infused NA spirit Calmezzi, was sold out so I went with the New Best Friend ($14) featuring Calmezzi original, amethyst lemon serrano NA spirit, lime simple syrup and soda. Boo opted for the CBD-infused California Sober ($11).

Though I’m usually not one to pine for a spritzer, my New Best Friend was bubbly, light, and showed off just the right amount of balanced flavor to set her far above her Aperol spritz, White Claw, or seltzer water counterparts in my rotation.

But don’t let her free-spirited, carefree nature fool you, her Calmezzi fey is fierce.

“Do you feel anything?” Boo asked as I realized the day had turned to night and I was only a third of the way through my cocktail. I chuckled with quiet confidence that I was feeling no more than a placebo buzz while simultaneously searching “nonalcoholic mocktail recipes, booze-free activities, bottle shops near me with NA spirits, and what happened to Charlotte’s Counterculture Club?”

Then, suddenly, I was hungry.

“I don’t think so, but should we close out and head over to Copperhead to place a to-go order and a nightcap?”

“…or Zämbies,” Boo said.

“Or what if we go to Copperhead, place a to-go order, have a beer while we play Simpson’s bowling, then place a pick-up order at Zämbies for late-night?” I replied with a huge grin and raised eyebrows.

When he smiled and didn’t immediately veto, I knew that Haberdish had delivered on sending us home in high spirits without the buzz and our only regret would be that we’d forgotten to stock up on Pepto.

A couple blocks closer to Uptown, across the street from the Heist Brewery corner, Copperhead Social Club sat waiting for us to warm up one more time before making our way back home.

In the middle of what was supposed to be a quick catch-up with a girlfriend, quietly savoring her Best Day Brewing Kölsch-style nonalcoholic beer, I realized my New Best Friend was charming her way into my psyche like a mischievous sprite.

Before I knew it, I was doing the one thing I can’t stand for other people to do: overstaying my welcome. My time-turner on dry-ish Sunday funday was running out and I needed two Copperhead burgers and one order of Copperhead-style fries to go stat … the ‘za would have to wait.