The Scanner: Like Pulling Teeth

TOOTHLESS Police responded to the Ashley Park neighborhood of west Charlotte after a man’s home was broken into overnight. The 44-year-old victim told police that the unknown suspect broke into his home and made off with a black backpack that held some of his belongings, including a bank card, a Social Security card and his ID. There was one item in the backpack more valuable than all of that, though — valuable enough to turn this burglary into a felony, despite the fact that the thief surely didn’t want it. Listed as stolen in the report was a full set of dentures worth $3,000.

WATCH ME Police recently responded to a disturbance at a home in the Nevin area of north Charlotte and found a man who had been arguing with a 47-year-old woman and her 22-year-old son, who both lived on the property. Police told the non-resident to leave the property and not come back, which he did for a short time. That should have been the end of it, but something about the argument stuck in the suspect’s craw, and he was determined to have the last word. The man didn’t even wait for officers to leave before returning to the property and, in full view of the police, throwing a brick right through family’s living room window, doing $900 in damage.

PARTY CRASHER Around 9:30 p.m. on a recent Friday night, a police officer parked his car on East Independence Boulevard to block a lane of traffic while fellow officers conducted an accident investigation on the street. Little did he know that he was about to sacrifice his squad car for the protection of those officers. At 9:49 p.m., the officer was still sitting in the vehicle when an unrelated car came crashing right into him then stopped near the first accident scene. Fortunately, nobody was hurt in the second accident, though the driver of the car that caused it was later found to be driving while impaired and arrested on the scene.

MASSAGE OILS Employees at a spa are usually knowledgeable about different liquids, but a 56-year-old woman working at Aura Spa on North Tryon Street in north Charlotte was mistified by a secret substance used against her in an alleged recent assault. The woman filed a report stating that a stranger came into the spa and sprayed an unknown fluid in her face before walking out on a recent Monday afternoon.

HOLD THE MUSTARD A 35-year-old living in the Selwyn Flats apartment complex in south Charlotte got a bad start to his week when he woke up on a recent Monday morning to find that someone had vandalized his motorcycle — or tried to anyway. The man told police that he had parked his motorcycle in front of his apartment and placed a cover over it, only to come out the next morning and find why that cover was necessary: Some hungry fella had poured ketchup all over the cover. Thanks to the cover, a quick hosedown was all that was needed to get his ride back to non-edible status.

BOUNCER BASH A member of the security team at WhiteHouse NightClub in west Charlotte got overly aggressive during a fight inside the club on a recent Saturday night and ended up with assault charges. According to a 25-year-old woman who was in the club at the time of the fight, the bouncer picked up a stanchion — those metal posts that hold the red velvet ropes in place — and threw it, striking her in the face. The bouncer was charged with aggravated assault.

RESHOOT If you’re going to get rid of your gun in America, you might as well recycle it so someone else can use it, right? That was someone’s thought process in east Charlotte, based on a report that came from Lupie’s Cafe on Monroe Road. According to staff there, an employee went out to put a bag of bottles in the recycling one recent morning and found a shotgun sitting in the recycling dumpster. The gun was not reported as stolen, so employees asked that it be disposed of properly.

PILLOW FIGHT I see it all the time: staff at a local hotel is alerted by their custodial team that someone has trashed a hotel room. These reports usually consist of shattered TV screens, stolen refrigerators, maybe a broken headboard or two. But one report from Home2 Suites in west Charlotte was a very mild version of the cliche trashed hotel room story. According to the report, a man who was staying in the room took a knife and cut through four pillows in his room, then scattered the feathers around the room. Other than the pain in the ass it must have been to clean it all up, the damage was minimal, listed on the report at just $20. Officers noted that “the reporting person does not know why the suspect damaged the property.”

CONSENT A 29-year-old man filed a police report after being assaulted at a 7-Eleven on The Plaza in northeast Charlotte recently, and he made sure to be clear that he did not like being assaulted one bit. The man told officers that he got into an argument with a man in the gas station parking lot, and the suspect sprayed him with pepper spray. According to the report, “The victim advised that he has never seen the suspect before and he did not give the suspect permission to pepper spray him.” Good to know.

All Scanner entries come from CMPD reports. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.