The Scanner: Run the Cigs

Bum a Cig Last issue we reported on a woman who had her car stolen while she slept inside it, but one man in Grier Heights didn’t heed our warning and also fell victim to a robbery while trying to catch some Zs in his whip. The man later told police that he was sleeping in his car at around 9 a.m. despite the fact that it was parked in front of the house that he lives in, when he was awoken by a man knocking on his window. The stranger asked for a cigarette, and when the sleepy man rolled down the window, another suspect came from out of nowhere and stuck a gun in his face. This new suspect apparently has a stronger nicotine addiction than his friend because he demanded all the cigarettes the victim had, plus the victim’s wallet. The victim said he gave them what they asked for and the two calmly walked away.

Person Repellent A 22-year-old man was just trying to go to work on one recent morning but three other men in his apartment complex were making things difficult for him. The victim told police that he went out to his work vehicle, which was parked in front of his apartment in the Oakhurst neighborhood, at about 6:25 a.m. and found that some vandals broke the passenger mirror off the vehicle and sprayed pepper spray on the driver’s side door handle. When he asked the three men standing nearby about the damage, one of them threatened to kick his ass, which is one hint that they were probably the ones responsible.

Bookish Thief One 77-year-old south Charlotte man has every reason to be reluctant to host his wife’s book club, as was apparent in a police report he filed recently. The man told police that his wife hosted her book club in one of the community rooms at The Cypress, a retirement home where the couple lives. His wife broke out the fancy tableware for the meeting, including the couple’s $300 pair of antique pastry tongs. This sparked jealousy among one of the book club members, apparently, because by the time everyone had left, the tongs were long gone.

Give It Up Members of the Israelite School of Universal Practical Knowledge, an extremist hate group according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, can often be found in Uptown spouting off about, well, extremely hateful shit, but one man recently decided he wasn’t going to listen to it anymore. One 37-year-old member of the ISUPK filed a police report after a man tried to rob him in broad day while he stood preaching the gospel in a public square in Center City recently. The victim told police that a stranger approached him at 5:45 p.m. and pulled a knife on him, then came past the rope line that the ISUPK had set up. The suspect then tried to steal money from a cash box the group had out in the open. It’s unclear how long it took police to appear on the scene, but they were able to identify and arrest the man, charging him with assault with a deadly weapon and attempted larceny.

Say What? A report filed by management at Famous Toastery near Matthews in south Charlotte raises the question of whether it’s the server at the restaurant or the officer who filed the report that isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. The victim business filed a false pretenses/swindling report, meaning that somebody got scammed. According to the report, the suspect went into the restaurant and placed an order and then — pay close attention here — “presented different currency amounts from the currency presented.” It’s hard to say just what in the hell that means, but apparently this “scam tactic,” as it’s referred to in the report, worked to confuse the cashier into paying the suspect $94.30 in error. But did he tip, though?

Phone Giveaway Oftentimes reports pop up from people who went to the club, put their phone down for a second and never saw it again. One such man had the opposite problem on a recent weekend. According to a report out of the Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s Office, deputies were booking a man in the county jail after he was arrested for some unknown offense at the EpiCentre, and when they asked him why he had two phones in his pocket, he said he had no idea where the second one came from (sure) and asked that they turn it into found property.